karl, specifically; first dates, generally

before i get started on this entry's main topic, i want to say that all the thoughts i put down in this diary about 11 september will be confined to the previous entry. i'll just continue to add to it as i feel the need to, until it gets so big it oozes out into the very guts of diaryland.

so, onward to today's topic: first dates. i had another one last night. karl is his name and football (soccer) is his game. [well, he doesn't play, but he's a fan of the liverpool team.] he's from sheffield, england. works outside philly, building corporate web sites and web software packages. anyway, we'd been in on-and-off email contact for a while, and finally talked on the phone on saturday night for like 3 hours. he'd tried several times to reach me, but i wasn't ever at home, because i was always at rehearsal for a midsummer night's dream (for which, if you recall, i was the musical director and cellist. it went very well, thank you very much.) anyway i invited him over for a beer on my stoop yesterday--to enjoy one of the last days of good stoop-sittin weather. it's starting to get chilly here, at least in the evenings.

anyway, he came over, we had a beer, then walked down to dahlak for some ethiopian food. he'd never had it, and ethiopian bread is something ya gotta try at least once because it's like no other bread you've ever had. i think the best comparison is to a spongy wet napkin (i know, sounds appetizing, right?) tastes sorta like sourdough. but moist and spongy. the ethiopian thing didn't turn out so well, because (a) he doesn't like tomatoes, and nearly all the dishes there are tomato based and (b) the beef dish he ordered was too spicy for him (though i tried it and it was only mildly spicy. but he *is* english after all). he had managed to eat about a third of his food, and fill up on bread when the owner came over and berated us for not finishing our dinner. well, 'berated' is perhaps too strong. he was very nice and insisted he show us the proper way to eat ethiopian. (hint: don't drink water--just stuff the food into your mouth until the end, the wash it all down with a beer.) he washed his hands, then came back and fed us. actually *fed* us. took the bread, scooped up a mixture of the dishes we had on our plate (you eat this food with fingers only, using the napkin-bread to pick up the meat and veggies). he made us each eat 4 really big mouthfuls before he was satisfied that we wouldn't be hungry. it was funny, actually, and he was very nice.

after dinner, we got some ice cream to cool down our mouths (well, his--i don't have a problem with spicy food) and took it back to my house. sat on the couch eating ice cream, then talking for *hours*. finally, we got to the kissing portion of the date, and it was good fun. he very quickly realized that i *love* to have (a) my hair played with and (b) my ears kissed. i like a quick study. we were falling asleep on the couch when i half woke up, asked him what he planned to do about work today, told him i had to be in class at 11 (for the cow eyeball dissection! yay!), and suggested that we go downstairs to my bedroom so we could stretch out and be comfortable.

so, he stayed over, leaving when i left for class. unlike other dates recently where [insert name of one of the parade of men who've come through my life recently here] has stayed over, we didn't remove any articles of clothing (except shoes). it was nice. and here's where the musing on first dates (and me) comes in:

seems to me that i am incapable of having a first date that does not involve me and the gentleman-of-the-moment seeing dawn. why is that? why can i not muster the whatever to send them home at a reasonable hour? here's what i think the answer is: low-self-esteem. my self-esteem is MUCH MUCH better than it was in my teens and early twenties. but it's not overly fabulous. and so when these first dates don't take it upon themselves to suggest that it is time for them to leave, i certainly don't want to bring it up, since i'm feeling lonely and unloved lately. if they want to stay, i want them to stay.

yup. that's about it, i think. i think i'm making progress that i didn't rip off his clothes last night. he's cute and goofy and smart, and i'd like to continue to get to know him. so i'm glad that (even though he spent the night) things were relatively tame.