more personality tests

i usually think these personality tests are lame, but for some reason (i think it's the fun little accompanying pictures) i like these. there seems to be an avalanche of them recently. two entries ago i told you what i would be if i were a work of art, and suddenly all my diaryland buds are posting new ones all over the place. i got these two from oddcellist:

If I were a James Bond villain, I would be Oddjob. I enjoy bowler hats, golf caddying, and killing people in hand-to-hand combat. I am played by Harold Sakata in Goldfinger. Who would you be? James Bond Villain Personality Test

I am an Alien Autopsy. My raging belligerant mustard synchronises with spherically verbose participles. I enlist lava by shrinking lenticular disturbances. Loose network steam requires my fortunate lips. What monkeys dispute rearranged plasma? The Utterly Surreal Test

i like being the alien autopsy because it mentions mustard, and i don't know if i've ever told you, but i'm a mustard-oholic. there are currently 9 different kinds of mustard in my fridge: dijon, old-fashioned (grainy) dijon, taragon dijon, lemon dijon, spicy brown, honey, dill, sweet maple pecan, and mole (with jalapeno peppers and chocolate! you never knew those tastes could be successfully combined, did you?). i'm very sad that when i drove through wisconsin last summer, i did not stop at the mustard museum.