. . . m u s i c . . .

last night was the penn chamber music society's fall recital, at which my own scordatura quartet played the first movement (allegro vivo appassionato) to bedrich smetana's quartet #1 in e minor, "from my life." the performance went really well: we were together, we kept tempo (if you've been following along, we did manage to get the tempo up to 144. still slower than all the recordings, but whatever), we blended well.

so the performance was a high. but, (strangely?) not as much of a high as the last couple of rehearsals have been. i've been, as you know, frustrated with the quartet for being flaky about rehearsals, but things really came together in the last couple.

when rehearsals go well, i fly. it's better, in some ways, than the actual performance, although that is a high too. when things are going right--the blend is good, the entrances are precise, the tuning is perfect, the rhythm is sharp--it's like nothing else in the world. this small group of musicians, who have each worked hard on their own to become what they are, have come together to create this piece of art, this art that only exists as long as we are playing it. during rehearsals, when the stakes are low, i can take moments during the piece to *listen* to everyone. if i lose my place in the music as a result, it's no big deal to find it again. in concert, the stakes are too high to risk that, so my concentration must be on the music all the time.

that said, performing is also good. i get a feeling of exhilaration, an adrenaline rush, when we start to play. we've worked hard, creating this art, and are now presenting it to the audience. a gift.