borogoves is about to re-enter the world of co-habitation. the message on the mini etch-a-sketch was: i think i want to live with u.

he showed it to me last night, and we stayed up til the wee hours talking about it. how freaked out, exactly, measured in picas (my favorite unit of measurement from high school, when i was on staff of the lit mag), was i? i decided that my freak-out level was below the co-hab threshold, so off we go!

it's exciting, mostly, but also just a teensy bit sad. sad because i tend to develop a severely unhealthy (think: double bacon cheeseburger with mayo and an extra-large side of cheese fries unhealthy) attachment to inanimate things, like cars and apartments. so i'm already thinking about how i'm going to miss my beloved sliding pocket door, the lovely stained glass windows in my kitchen, the beautiful decorative-tile fireplace hearth and trim, the intricate woodwork and mouldings, and the luxurious porch with the porch swing. i'm thinking this even though i'm definitely *not* going to miss the death-trap spiral stairs (hint: going down them drunk and on high heels is Not Good Planning), the cramped and crusty bathroom, the hideous floral wallpaper in the kitchen, or the total lack of closets (and by total, i don't mean that i have closets, but like, how can i fit all my clothes and shoes into *that*? i mean that i have zero closets. not even a linen closet. or a coat closet. no closets at all.)

i notoriously second-guess myself. this is why it took me a year and a half to break up with john. this is why i'm always the one at the restaurant going "no, you choose first, i'll decide by the time she gets to me" and then not deciding, and having everyone stare at me expectantly/irritatedly until i finally make up my mind in a frenzy of arm-waving. so i'm second-guessing myself about this, too. maybe i want to spend some more time living with a platonic roommate? not that i've made motions in that direction. maybe i want to enjoy my independence for longer? not that i've spent a night alone in months. i have a serious case of the grass is greener syndrome. i just have to keep reminding myself that the grass is pretty damn green on this side of the fence too. and that there's probably weeds over there that i can't see from this far away.