i ordered my graduation "regalia" (i cannot bring myself to type that word without quotes) today, and i feel worried, like i'm going to jinx everying. also, my parents have made a hotel reservation for graduation weekend. again with the jinxing.

i dread my defense like nothing i've ever dreaded before, and have a very real anticipation of failing it. which people keep telling me is "what everyone feels, and it'll be fine. in a few weeks you'll be looking back on it and thinking it was so anticlimatic." but it's not helping. monday the 3rd, 2 pm, i'm either going to need celebratory drinks or a shoulder to cry on.