happy 2006 everybuddy.

NEWS UPDATE
yesterday i got word that i am now officially on the register for the foreign service! whoo! no, i'm not hired yet, but i am for sure on the list that may one day lead to me being hired. actually, i think i have a pretty good shot at being called to come to the march 2006 a-100* class in DC, which is the orientation class ("how to be a diplomat in 7 weeks!") that all new-hired foreign service officers take at the start of their careers. in fact, my dad, who joined the foreign service way back in 1971 or something, also had a a-100 class.

so, while i have not actually been hired yet, nor do i really know when i may be hired, i expect to be starting on march 6. see you in Ouagadougou!

*called a-100 because it used to be held in room a-100 of some long forgotten state department building. it has been 30+ years since it was held in room a-100, but the name stuck. because it's so catchy, you know.

of course, what this means, is that i have less than 2 months to finish my dissertation. eek!

CHRISTMAS ROUND-UP
for our first married christmas, we had a semi-complicated split the families arrangement. i took the train down to DC on the 21st, spent a few days alone with the 'rents, while karl stayed here in philly to visit with HIS parents, who arrived from england on the 22nd. he spent christmas morning with them at his brother's house, where they opened presents in a house completely devoid of any christmas decoration AT ALL. now, SIL is 8 months pregnant, so perhaps she can be forgiven no christmas tree, but still. i don't love it. anyway, karl drove down to my parents house on christmas afternoon and we spent a few days there, watching everton lose two heartbreaking games (to be made up for 2 days ago by a great 3-1 win against charlton that should have been 4-1, but the ref disallowed one goal for no good reason. on the 28th we drove back up to philly with a car full of presents and spent the next several days with karl's family, culminating in a new years party at our house. we had invited tons of people, most of whom couldn't come because they were still with family or heading to NYC or something, so we thought it was just going to be a few people, some mulled wine, and a game of poker, but more people came at the last minute so in addition to the mulled wine and poker, there was a rowdy couple of games of foosball, 3 well-behaved infants, lots of barware being used, and champagne all around.

HOLIDAY RANT ABOUT THE IN-LAWS
spending time with karl's family is not my favorite thing in the world, surprise surprise. not because i don't like them, i do (well, except for S, who is an asshat). and when we go to england, i always have a good time and enjoy hanging out with them. but when they're here, it's a different story. here's how i described it to karl in a fight we had last night, brought on by a week's worth of frustration on my part.

imagine that you spend a week hanging out with your spouse's family. now imagine that a large part of that week, as in several hours EVERY DAY are spent at your brother-in-law's house, where your parents-in-law are staying. BIL and SIL spend much of the time there cleaning, doing laundry, and exercising (BIL is an avid cyclist, and spends 1-3 hours/day riding his bike, either indoors or out) and generally getting stuff done. MIL and FIL are staying there, and have things to do as well: figuring out the new camera, knitting a sweater for SIL's soon-to-be-born baby, surfing the web, etc.

you have nothing to do, unless you remembered to bring a book with you. you also have nowhere to go in the house that could be considered your space, so you sit on the couch, drink the occasional cup of tea, and try to make small talk with the in-laws. alternatively, you stare blankly at the david bowie concert DVD that BIL has put on the TV while he rides his stationary bike without asking anyone if that's what they'd like to watch. you sit there for an undetermined amount of time, sometimes 20 minutes, sometimes several hours, until someone suggests something to do, or somewhere to go (usually the mall or to a restaurant for a meal, or, if the weather is nasty, BIL will suggest a walk in nearby Valley Forge park). sometimes there is a choice about where to go (regular mall or outlet mall? pretentious faux chinese chain restaurant (PFChang) or unremarkable local microbrewery (JohnHarvards)?), but secretly it is only a choice if you choose the option that BIL wants to do.

you get your coat on, grateful to finally be leaving the house, only to stand in the hallway for 20 minutes while BIL does some unnecessary last minute chore. you suspect he does this on purpose just to keep everyone under his control.

after dinner, or the outing to the mall, you return to BIL's house to sit on the couch some more, looking pleadingly at your spouse hoping he will get the hint that IT IS TIME TO LEAVE because it's 10.30pm and you've been with his family for 12 hours already that day and have chores to do at your own house (laundry, sweeping, food to prepare for the new years party).

over the course of a week of this, you become resentful of having to spend all day at someone else's house, sitting in near silence in the living room, under the thumb of your BIL, and finally have a full-out meltdown at home after returning from seeing the in-laws off at the airport, 2 days later than they were supposed to leave*. the meltdown starts out as a calm request for your spouse to just please acknowledge the fact that the endless sitting on couches at BIL's house is difficult, so on those days when you drag your feet about going, or ask quietly after dinner to please go home could he please be nice and understanding and let you leave. it escalates into a full-on meltdown when, at your suggestion that maybe we could suggest other fun things to do (museums! guided walking tour of the city! area caves!) and break the cycle of couch-sitting, mall-wandering, and chain-restaurant-eating, your spouse says "well, why don't you come up with a list of possibilities?". this is the meltdown point because you have, on several occasions in the past, suggested possibilities (mummers museum, eastern state penitentiary, taking a board game to a coffee shop), and in fact you have a whole pile of brochures about all the various things to do in the area, but your spouse has NEVER TRIED TO GET THE FAMILY TO DO ONE OF THEM, EVER. and the family dynamic means that it definitely can't be you who organizes such outings, it has to be your spouse, as the one directly related. you try and try to get your spouse to understand that it's not that you don't like spending time with his family (except for S), you think they're great, it's just that you don't want to spend that time sitting on the couch at your BIL's house, trapped. you point out that your in-laws don't seem to be having a great time either, and no one is making any memories (all their visits are indistinguisable from all their other visits, since they all comprise the same 3 activities: couch, mall, restaurant), and wouldn't the stories and memories be more fun if we tried to have some adventures???

after much silence and wiping up of tears, you go up to bed at 12.30, waking up at 2.30 when your spouse finally joins you. the next day, you feel out-of-sorts and unhappy, partly because you didn't mean for there to even BE a fight, you just wanted your spouse to thank you for putting up with his parents (and brother) all week, and maybe offer to rub your shoulders a bit, and partly because now you think that your spouse thinks that you hate his parents, which you don't.

*their original flight on new years day was canceled, and though they had the option to take a flight the following day (jan 2), they decided to take the one on jan 3 because it was a direct philly to london flight while the one on the previous day went through charlotte, adding an extra 4 hours to the trip (it left 4 hours earlier, arriving in london at the same time). yes, they stayed an extra 24 hours to avoid a layover in charlotte.

okay, that last section was a downer, so in an effort to end on a lighter note, here's a list of some of the lovely things i got for christmas:

THE CHRISTMAS HAUL

• framing for a thai batik i got from a friend several years ago, from karl
• framing for a large poster advertising a russian kickboxing match in kazan, russia, that i went to back in 1996, from mom and dad
• goodies from the body shop including the amazing blue corn mask, some sugar scrubs, and fun make-up, from mom and sis
• chocolate: godiva from karl's grandparents, neuhaus from my sister's belgian boyfriend, maltesers from karl's parents, and harry&david's chocolate covered espresso beans from karl
• "the kite runner" by khaled hosseini, from mom
• new fancy riding breeches, from mom
• $50 check, from grandma. everyone got the same amount, including karl, who is now officially part of the family. my sister's bf, on the other hand, only got $25. grandma and the politics of christmas money
• electric back massager thingy from brookstone, from karl
• 3 place settings of china, 2 from mom, one from karl's parents
• 2 coffee mugs, 4 bowls, and the sugar and creamer from our china pattern, from mom
• wine glass from our pattern, from karl's parents
• new white shirt from a store i like but can't afford, from karl, who does a surprisingly good job of picking out clothes for me
• other things that i can't be bothered to type right now because this list is getting embarrassingly long