my first entry

john's been gone for a week, in san diego on a conference. i'm feeling all confused about the whole thing--i miss him. 'course, i don't know if it's *him* i'm missing, or if it's just that i miss having another person in the house to talk to. i guess once i move out we shall see.

moving out june 1. or at least, that's when my new lease starts. god, that first night in the new house (not even my house, but a summer sublet) is going to be rough. oy, i'm not looking forward to it.

mostly, i've been feeling pretty good today. laid back and carefree. i'm excited about my trip around the country (set for august: i'm going to take the whole month and drive around the country, stopping in with people i know). also, i'm feeling the crush for jared going away. which is good, since there's *so* no way anything was going to happen, and i need some time alone, and a one-way crush was going to make things difficult working with him. better to be just friends.