can we hire someone every semester? aka "ode to the white dog"

the department is in the process of hiring a new psycholinguist. this is A Good Thing, since our previous complement of three psycholinguists has dwindled to one after one psycholinguist semi retired and one psycholinguist got all pissed off at the department for not paying him as much as a newly hired cognitive neuroscientist and went off to make pots of money at an advertising company (and one psycholinguist went "wee wee wee wee" all the way home).

why this is good for me: in exchange for putting up with approximately 472 job talks, i get to participate in weekly free lunches at my favorite local restaurant.

i'm sure i have raved about this restaurant before, but please, let me do so again. this is the most fabulous restaurant, run by a socially concientous woman who thinks, among other things, that she has a responsibility to pay *all* her workers (including the dishwashers) a living wage. she is the bombshit. (being the bombshit is a good thing, in case you were confused.) in addition to being a responsible corporate entity, the white dog has a kickass menu that (as far as i can tell) changes daily. possibly weekly, but point is: often. check here for a sample lunch menu, and tell me if that's not one of the most fabulous examples of a lunch menu you've ever seen.

on a menu sidenote, one of the things that makes the white dog great is that no matter how strange and scary a menu combination might seem, it's always yummy. and, the wait staff WILL NOT let you substitute, and they're always right (not to let you substitute).
you: "the batter fried oysters with tabasco spiked chive cream sounds really good, but i'm not sure about the tomato-horseradish dressing on the accompanying baby spinach salad. may i substitute another dressing?"
waitperson, slapping your hand with a ruler: "no! you may not substitute. the tomato-horseradish dressing is the perfect taste complement to the tabasco spiked chive cream."
you, cowed: "umm, okay."
you, after having tasted your lunch, and definitely not brainwashed: "wow, that rather violent waitperson was certainly correct about that tomato-horseradish dressing. it WAS the perfect taste to go with the batter fried oysters and tabasco spiked chive cream!"

anyway, this entry is not necessarily supposed to be about either the virtues of the white dog or the splendiforousness of getting a free lunch there, but rather about the creepy waiter who brought us our starting potato-fennel bisque. he was not our main waiter, though he was our main waiter two weeks ago when we were there on another department-sponsored free lunch.

this waiter is creepy for two reasons. the first, he can't help (presumably). he's got something wrong with his right eye. it looks a little like he's got a cataract, but not quite, because cataracts are usually (always? i'm not a cataract expert) a cloudy area in the pupil with no sharp border. this guy's eye thing is a whitish area in his pupil, with *sharp* borders. it makes it difficult to look at him. but, as i said, presumably this is not his fault.

the other reason this waiter is creepy is his manner. he's inappropriately courteous. instead of saying normal waiter things like, "here's your moroccan spiced lamb burger with sweet and hot cherry tomato ketchup," he'll say something like "may i present you with your moroccan spiced lamb burger with sweet and hot cherry tomato ketchup? would you please do me the honor of allowing me to grind some fresh pepper on your accompanying spinach, olive, red onion, chick pea and feta in lemony vinaigrette salad? no? i would be delighted freshen your club soda for you, if you would so desire. you would? wonderful! i shall return momentarily." it's creepy.