last night's conversation at monk's included two topics that i'm pretty sure have never been included in conversation before.

we decided the only way to tell if the far end of a light-year-long metal rod moved at the same time the near end did, when the near end was pulled,* was to have q, from star trek, stand at both ends (he can so be in two places at once. he's omnipotent, you know), and note whether the near end moved before the far end. this introduction of q into the problem solved the question of how were we to *tell* if the far end moved at the same time as the near end, seeing as how the rod was a light-year long. also, we figured that a light-year long rod would be pretty heavy, and thus hard to move if you pulled on it, so we figured q could do double-duty and do the pulling, too. well, just for kicks, i said (after drinking a 25oz bottle of cider (alcoholic, of course)), how 'bout we have q (or multiple qs, if the one q didn't want to do *all* the work) stand at fixed intervals all along the metal rod, say, one every 10ft or so, and when they saw their part of the rod move, they could signal that by raising both their hands in the air. a light-year-long q wave. and to pass the time, they could sing "we will we will rock you". just a thought.

*in case you were wondering, we were discussing this pulling of a light-year-long rod to address laura's friend howie's claim that every substance is at least a little bit elastic. So he would predict that the near end of the light-year-long rod would indeed move before the far end, when pulled.

next. laura recently bought some new-generation modeling substance (it's not clay anymore. it's especially not that water-flour-salt-food coloring mixture that i used to endure) for her son. you know how they always have a picture on the box of some really cool model built from the very stuff in that package? that you could build too (if you were an adult professional artist and not a 4-year-old boy)? laura's son gets frustrated (wouldn't we all). i suggested that perhaps future packaging could feature art made by two-year-olds. without fingers. simon wondered if perhaps there might not be enough fingerless two-year-olds around to fill the need for all the art projects that would have to be done for box fronts. and that nike or someone would have to go to laos or china and find fingerless two-year-olds that they could pay a nickel a week to create new-generation art. i suggested that maybe we could keep this work in the usa, creating jobs you know, if we mined the agricultural farm community for children who had perhaps lost their fingers in the combine. what would be more patrioticly american than doing your part to put food on the table, even after a devastating combine accident? i sure can't think of anything.