it started with Calisthenics Girl. she's an undergrad, i think. shoulder-length frizzy dark hair. glasses. no fashion sense. nearly always sock-footed, rarely seen doing actual work. regularly seen doing calisthenics in the suite, sometimes in the little hallway leading to the bathroom, sometimes on a little raised platform beside a ramp. so Calisthenics Girl would sometimes come into the lab, our private lab, and use the phone. without asking. it wasn't like we were doing anything that required silence or privacy, but still. we don't know her, and she didn't ask. finally, one day when i looked at her accusingly as she came in and used the phone, she asked if it was okay. i said that it was, this time, but did she know that this was a private lab? and that there is a phone in the fishbowl (one of the conference rooms in the suite)? no. okay, well, it is and there is. (inference: use that one next time). she has not been in our lab since. side note: she had, at least that last time in here, a cell phone on her person. i know this because in her phone conversation, she instructed her callee to call her back on her cell. and on her way out, she took it out and looked at it.

then, more recently, there was Inappropriate Stanford Professor Guy. jared and i were minding our business when in walks a man of about 45-50. he asks if we know where JK, a professor who works in the suite, is, because he's got an appointment with him now. we do not. Inappropriate Stanford Professor Guy does not leave the lab, but instead picks up jared's copy of foundat*ons of language by j*ckendoff and starts reading. jared and i exchange puzzled looks. what is he doing? JK is not here, and will not be arriving. whatever. a few minutes later, ISPG leaves. perhaps a minute later, he re-enters the lab and picks up the book again. he says nothing. we let him read for about 3-5 minutes. then, i say to him, 'you know, this isn't actually JK's office or lab, so he's not going to show up here looking for you.' ISPG says that he knows, but he's just going to hang out here and read the book. not, you may note, *would we mind* if he hung out here and read the book. he reads for about 3 more minutes, then introduces himself as a professor from stanford u. who is here visiting JK. he asks who we are, who we work with. then, he leaves. we never see him again.

the third recent uninvited visitor was Mr. I Like Words, You Know. JB, a grad student in linguistics here and a generally cool guy, had come into the lab to ask if i knew the technical term for when an animal (or person) gets used to a particular stimulus and stops reacting to it (the word is: habituate). he was in the process of telling me why he was asking about this term (apparently, people habituate to a particular piece of porn, say a particular photo, after 2.5 viewings. this, if true, partly explains why porn is a continual best-seller) when Mr. I Like Words, You Know appeared in the doorway. he apologized for eavesdropping and said that his attention had been caught by JB asking "what's the word for...?". he, Mr. I Like Words, You Know, said he was something of a linguist (actually, as you can find out from his web page, linked above, he is an actual linguist, as defined by having a ph.d. in linguistics), and has ever since junior high, had an interest in words. in fact, he was the "go-to guy" in junior high whenever anyone needed to know a word for some particular concept. ������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������������� dude. do you know where you are? you are in a center for cognitive science at a prestigious university. a center highly focused on language. you are surROUNDed by linguists. you are, yourself, a linguist. having an interest in words does not make you either unique or interesting around here. it just qualifies you to walk through the door. get over yourself and stop listening in on our conversation.

perhaps, you are now saying to yourself, this borogoves is awfully isolationist. she really ought to get out more and make some friends. or perhaps you are just making a note to yourself to stay out of my way, should you ever encounter me in my natural surroundings.