that was a big fucking rollercoaster.

yesterday, i showed up to the class i TA for only to be told by the professor that because he didn't know how long i was going to be out of town due to michael's death, he'd talked to the department and they'd decided that the best course of action was to find a replacement for me.

that's right, a permanent replacement.

i was stunned, and went immediately to speak with the director of graduate studies, who was part of this group who'd decided to replace me. he told me basically the same thing. mike, my professor, had come to him saying that i'd had to go out of town and he wasn't sure when i'd be back, and there was an exam coming up in his class, and he needed a TA, and what could they do? so they hired a student from mike's lab to take my place.

i said that hey, i had only been gone a week, only missed 2 classes, and the exam wasn't until next week anyway, so what gives? he really had no answer, just repeated what he'd already told me. i was particularly distraught, as this TAship is half my (meager) income.

at the time i had these conversations, i didn't remember exactly what i'd written to mike about how long i was going to be gone. i thought that it was perhaps the case that i *had* been vague about when i'd be back. so i checked my sent mail folder and lo and behold, the email that i sent mike says that "i will have to miss class this coming week," and "i hope to be back next weekend, ... of course, i will let you know if i will be away longer than this week," and "i think i will have occasional email access, if you need to reach me." i don't know about you, but i think that's pretty clear: i'll miss one week of classes, be back the following week. email me if you need to.

the more i thought about it, the angrier i got. point 1: what is the bullshit about him not knowing when i'd be back? i was very clear. point 2: even if he was for some reason unclear about when i'd be back, why did he not send me an email saying "hey, sorry to hear about your loss, when will you be back?" point 3: how did a grown, intelligent man think that a good solution to the problem of a TA being out of town for 2 classes FOR A DAMN GOOD REASON was firing her? point 4: even given points 1-3, why was i not informed of ANY of this before i showed up to class to be told that i'd been fired?!?!??!!

i had a meeting scheduled at 9am this morning with the two heads of the department who were in charge of this situation, which i was totally dreading. but when i went this morning, i didn't have to break out my best black church lady impression and give them a dressing down because they offered me my job back.

i know this is a total let down ending for the story, and my diary readership would be much happier if i could give them an ongoing saga of bitter arguments and court battles, but alas no.

after telling me how sorry he was to hear of michael's death, the department chair told me that if it was what i wanted, i could have my job back. the real reason behind all this was that mike had some issues with me, particularly relating to how in contact and available i was with/for him. to be fair, we've had some communication snafus, starting with him not being able to find me a few days before class (because i was in edinburgh) to meet and go over the class, continuing with one day that we played email tag, with us trying to meet up and him sending me emails saying he was in his office and me not getting them for and hour or so later (because he sends mail to my school email account, which i really don't use that much), and finishing with him being unclear about how long i was going to be gone, at what he thought of as a critical juncture in the class (though as i said before, he shouldn't have been unclear, and i don't think this is a particularly critical juncture). so the department heads want me to meet with mike to discuss the miscommunications and work something out, but the end result is that i have a job back.

it is past time for february, and all the crap that's happening this month, to end.