he nearly had me...

i get this email today from my landlord, with karl also on the "to" list. here it is:

Subject: Condoleezza Rice visit

Dear Residents,

I have some exciting news, and a request to make.

Representatives from Condoleezza Rice's office recently contacted Powelton Properties to request permission to film a portion of a documentary on her life in our building. Her staff have hired a film crew to create a documentary on her, one part of which focuses on her childhood. Apparently, she spent ages 5 through 11 living in the 3rd floor of your building. As I quote from an email her office sent us, "She feels the time she spent growing up in West Philadelphia were most influential on shaping her into the successful, poweful, compassionate, and honest woman she is today. We wish to capture the feel of the earthy urban background in which she was raised to give viewers a true feeling of where she came from." As such, she requests your permission to film in your apartment and have the 2 of you guide her around the building to be taped before she films an interview in your apartment.

As a political supporter of Condoleezza, Mr Powelton personally requests that you grant your permission and comply with her wishes. Filming should take place in the second week of May.

We thank you in advance for agreeing to this request. This has made our week, and I'm certain yours too, congratulations guys!

Best Regards,
C-------- D-----,
Powelton Properties

of course, i'm all wacked out about this. condo-frickin-leezza rice? grew up in MY APARTMENT? and wants to come FILM there? i'm all in a tizzy about it--do i let them film? my politics, they are not the same as hers. in fact, i disagree with her about everything! should i make nice with her in my house? i don't want people to see me and condi in the same place!

then i remember the date. april fools, right? i mean, c'MON. condoleezza rice grew up in MY apartment? there's no way.

on the other hand, equally as absurd: my LANDLORD is april foolsing me?

hokay. let's think. there's gotta be a place on the web that can confirm that condi spent at least part of her childhood in philly. i will find it i will.

after doing an extremely thorough search of about 10 web pages, i got jack. she was born in birmingham alabama. she moved to denver as a teenager. she went to college at age 15 (!). fine. but what about birth-teenagerhood? what about ages 5-11? on that, i can find nothing.

meantime, i'm IMing with karl about all this. this is crazy! i am saying to him. either condi rice really grew up in our apartment or our landlord, who dislikes us as much as we dislike her, is april foolsing us.

i suggest we reply to the landlord with your standard "ha ha, you're very funny, you really had us going there" email. they either acknowledge the joke or tell us it's real. karl says hang on, and comes back 5 minutes later saying he's just called them, and C-------- is all pissed off that we would think that they would be joking like that. they are a *business* after all. he thinks they're serious.

i've re-read the email by now, and have noticed that they call the landlord mr. powelton. well, i may be gullible, but i am not so gullible as to think that powelton properties is named after a mr. powelton who is my landlord and not after powelton village, the area of west philly where the offices are located. and also, i've paid attention to the letterhead before, and the landlord's name is s------ l-----. so, um, not so much.

so karl's all like "they're serious, yo" and i'm all "you better not be punkin' me boy" and he's all "i'm not, bitch!" and i'm all "if i find out you puttin me on 'bout dis, yo ass ain't gettin no ticklin'" and he caves. cuz that boy's achilles heel is the ticklin' i tell you what. karl "you get to play that card once, 'goves. once i say!"

of course, he'd forged their address. me: dumbass.

i did learn one interesting thing, though. condi's name isn't just some lame-o made up thing. it's from a musical term con dolcezza, to play "with sweetness."