so terri schiavo finally died. i was in the car this morning when i heard the news, and heard bush's remarks, which included the following statement:

"The essence of civilization is that the strong have a duty to protect the weak.

In cases where there are serious doubts and questions, the presumption should be in the favor of life."

and i nearly crashed the car with rage at his hypocrisy. this is the same man who, as governor of texas, repeatedly failed to make a presumption in favor of life when there were serious doubts and questions, when he refused to consider the validity of over 100 death row verdicts and let the inmates die.

to mark the end of the absurd media circus that has surrounded schiavo and her family for the last several weeks, i present you with a craigslist instant classic:

FOR SALE/BARTER: My body in Persistent Vegetative State... - 2 Reply to: see below Date: Thu Mar 24 09:51:00 2005

Dear loved-ones, I make the following statement in a sound state of mind and of my own volition:

If I am rendered comatose and determined to be in a persistent vegetative state (PVS) for a period longer than one month and if no imminent cure is forthcoming, I do not wish to be kept alive by artificial means including but not limited to nourishment, hydration, etc.

However....

If, due to the absurd political state of affairs in this country, my persistent vegetative state and impending unplugging can be parlayed into some sort of political leverage, I wholly endorse using my predicament in whatever way possible for the purposes of passing legislation favorable to my general political and ethical outlook. Here is a list of top-tier causes I support and will continue to support, both while in my PVS and after my eventual death.

• Debt Relief to Impoverished Nations: I will agree to stay in a PVS for an indeterminate amount of time if the United States aggressively pursues a policy of debt relief and debt forgiveness to developing and impoverished nations.
• Nuclear Disarmament and De-escalation: I will agree to stay in a PVS for a open-ended period of time if the United States aggressively pursues a policy of nuclear disarmament and de-escalation. By this I mean desisting from developing new bellicose nuclear technologies and providing significant non-military incentives for nations to avoid nuclear armament.
• Humanitarian Foreign Policy: I will demure to the pro-Life contingent's desire that I be kept in a PVS in perpetuum if the United States aggressively pursues a humane foreign policy. This policy should be guided by the idea that this country must use its economic prowess and leverage to bring education, health care, basic services, and opportunity to the millions of disenfranchised, impoverished and oppressed peoples of the world. For example, instead of providing Bradley Fighting Vehicles or F16s to the Israeli army, the United States would open a free, state-of-the-art, health clinics in every West Bank refugee camp.
• Environmentally Sensitive Policy: I agree to be kept "plugged-in" and in a PVS until I expire of other natural causes if the United States aggressively pursues a policy of environmental sensitivity. This policy should include an economic emphasis on renewable energy sources, preserving open spaces, protecting environmentally sensitive areas (such as the Biosphere Reserves, ANWAR, Amazon Basin, etc.) and using economic and political leverage to encourage other nations to behave in like manner.

Should my friends or family find a way to use the issue of my impending unplugging to bring Congress into emergency session, to draft emergency legislation, or to encourage politicians to make statements favorable to the abovementioned causes, I hereby grant permission to do whatever is necessary with my body to accomplish said ends.

If the United States Government coldly and callously dismisses the value and sanctity of my life by refusing to enact the policies laid out above, I will offer a staggered plan of unplugging. With each of the following acts, truly pro-Life leaders will be able to secure more time for my existence, sustained via the miracles of modern medicine, while I enjoy my PVS.

• Plant 30 mature trees in an inner-city ( + 1 day!! )
• Build one basketball court in an inner-city ( + 1 day!! )
• Remove graffiti from 10 inner-city buildings ( + 4 days!! )
• Build a playground in an inner-city ( + 1 week!! )
• Build and staff a library in an inner-city ( + 1 week!! )
• Repair an inner-city school and provide adequate heating ( + 1 week!! )
• Provide computers and computer classes to an inner-city school system ( + 10 days!! )
• Build and staff a community center in an inner-city ( + 10 days!! )
• Build and staff a job training center in an inner-city ( + 2 weeks!!)
• Build and staff a school in a inner-city ( + 2 weeks!! )
• Provide text books for all students of an inner-city school system ( + 2 weeks!! )
• Build and staff a health care clinic in an inner-city ( + 3 weeks!! )
• Build and staff an emergency room in an inner-city ( + 30 days!!! )

*** EXCITING LIMITED-TIME OFFER!!! ***

Should these staggered incentives prove inadequate to morally motivate the conservative "pro-Life" leadership in this country, for a limited time, I will allow the US Government (State, County and City Governments are also welcome to participate!) to keep me alive in a PVS as follows:

• Save my life for an additional minute by contributing two dollars ($2.00 US) to any one of the following non-profit organizations: WHO, OxFam, Greenpeace, Earth Justice, NOW, NARAL, MoveOn.org, Act For Change, Free the Slaves, Anti-Slavery International, ACLU, or Amnesty International.
• * Please note: You can purchase blocks of minutes at a discounted rate of $1.75 per minute of life!!

The above statements represent my true and unadulterated wishes, given here under no coercion whatsoever. These statements should be taken as the legally-binding wishes of yours truly.

N.A.B.
March 24, 2005.

this is in or around US Congress
it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests
ok to transmit this posting into outer space

requiem for a car

30 March 2005 - 9:01 pm

it's finally that time. after 9 years i'm saying goodbye to my beloved 87 honda accord.

yeah, i know. about damn time, right? i mean, this is the car that spent 4 months, and no, that is not a typo, in the shop last winter with problem after problem that eventually cost about $3000 to fix. and again no, the car is not worth nearly that much. those were the bad times. like when i was driving to my parents' house for christmas and the distributer died right there on I-95 south in baltimore and i had to get the car towed the 50 miles to my dad's mechanic who "fixed" it only for it to die again on the way back up to philly, just after the toll for the susquehannah river bridge and i had to get it towed 50 miles back up to philly where it subsequently sat in the shop for the better part of 4 months, costing me money.

but up unTIL then, man, was that ever a great car. this is the car that drove me almost 11,000 miles around the country back in the summer of 2000 after i broke up with my fianc�. and THAT was a good trip. in fact, that still wins my "best vacation ever" prize hands down. just me, my car, my tent, my credit card, and as many books on tape as i could get out of the library.

but it's finally time. the inspection sticker expires on friday, and it's not going to pass this year because of the bigass rust hole in the left rear wheel well (try saying that out loud--it's hard!). the one that would cost anywhere from $300 to $3000 to fix and they won't know which one til they get started. not that that's the only thing wrong with it. there's also the fact that the electrical system is all wonky, or at least that is my completely non-mechanic guess is that the electrical system is all wonky and that it is the cause of the right headlight not working except on bright (it's not the bulb, i checked), the A/C not working anymore, and some of the dashboard lights either coming on or going off when they're not supposed to.

you know i'm just trying to make myself feel better for getting rid of it. even though i know it's time, it's still a little sad to let go of your tried-and-true. so i have to keep reminding myself of all the bad parts.

damn rust.