yesterday i was out at one of the food trucks* buying lunch and was entertained while waiting in the longass (but fairly quick, which is why we put up with it) line by a police cornucopia (it's november, the only month in which the word "cornucopia" is allowed to be used without audience snickering).

when i arrived, a motorcycle cop** was writing a ticket for a cab that he had pulled over. he was taking a long damn time about it too, so i had plenty of time to admire him and his chiseled jaw. at some point when i had my back turned, he managed to stop another car, which parked behind his motorcycle. he continued writing the cabbie's ticket, making the people in the car just wait.

a few minutes later, a upenn cop (in a car) showed up, parked behind the pulled-over car, and got out to find out what was happening. it was a study in contrasts: the lean, chiseled motorcycle cop and the fat squishy car cop. one a city cop, one a measly university cop. the real cop told the fat cop what was up, then continued what he was doing, leaving the fat cop to just stand around looking useless and confirming the donut-eating cop image. i imagined the motorcycle cop's internal monologue both making fun of this car cop and car cops in general and mentally shaking his head in exasperation.

another few minutes passed, with the motorcycle cop continuing to manage both pulled-over cars and the car cop being fat and useless. then a bike cop pedalled over. he circled around a couple of times then stopped and asked the car cop what was happening. car cop presumably filled bike cop in, then they stood around together doing nothing. meanwhile, the motorcycle cop is still dealing with the cabbie, taking a moment in the middle to chastise the people in the car and tell them that they will have to sit there calmly while he finished off the cabbie's ticket and got him on his way.

when i left, the cabbie had left and the motorcycle cop was talking with the car people. car cop and bike cop were still doing nothing but annoyingly blocking traffic.

*one of the great things about philly, and penn in particular is the food trucks. they are not limited, as they are in most cities, to hot dogs and pretzels. oh no. in philly, we have gourmet food trucks. on penn's campus alone, there are fruit trucks,*** trucks serving japanese, korean, and chinese food, falafel trucks, greek trucks, a truck serving superyummy buritos (my fav: sweet potato burrito), an assortment of hoagie/sausage/hot dog/egg sandwich/pretzel trucks, and my favorite, the magic carpet truck, serving middle-eastern inspired vegetarian food. yesterday i had my usual, the bella donna: tofu meatballs in a tomato-based sauce served over brown rice and veggies. with hot sauce and cheese. mmmmmmmmmm.

**motorcycle cops are clearly the most stylish of the various cops, what with the snazzy belted leather jacket and the equestrian-like knee-high leather boots. however hard i scour the web, i cannot find a photo that does my motorcycle cop justice. the closest thing i can find is this photo of the village people. my cop's uniform looked basically like The Cop's, including this style hat (rather than the CHiPs-style motorcycle helmets) and the navy trousers. the jacket was hip-length black belted leather. in a police officer fashion show, this guy would have made you say "ahh."

***the fruit trucks are a perennial favorite. they sell fruit salads in 3 sizes, made up of watermelon, cantaloupe, honey dew, orange, grapes, kiwi fruit, strawberries, and pineapple. one truck also includes mango. my complaint is this: the fruit truck across the street from my office is the soup nazi of fruit trucks. they increase the price if you want to leave out one type of fruit, presumably because people tend to leave out cheap stuff like orange and thus get extra expensive stuff like pineapple. they also sell ziplocks of either grapes or strawberries for $1, and allow no choice at all in those, as they are premade. the other fruit truck has a much more liberal policy, allowing any and all fruit substitutions (including options like "all pineapple"), and will make up $1 bags to order. problem? they are located down by the hospital, which is a good 2 blocks from where i work. not that far, really, but not as convenient as the one directly across the street. everytime i walk by the close one to get to the good one, i want to inform the fruit nazi truck why they are not getting my business. but in addition to being stingy and rigid with the fruit, they are unfriendly, and i am a bit scared of them.