i think i voice too many negative opinions of my dad. sometimes (okay, a lot of the time), he's too much, but he is really a nice person in many ways. here are some.

dad took karl and me to dinner last night (at the white dog, natch). we sat outside and ate a light dinner followed by super yummy homemade raspberry-tarragon sorbet. yummmmmmmmm. dad was in the area because he was visiting a friend (that he met at a quaker retreat) who is in prison. said friend used to be a priest, and is now a war protester. he got thrown in prison this time (this is not his first time in prison) for pouring his blood on the steps of the pentagon. as an aside, as much as i think this guy is perhaps a kook (i mean, it's good to have principles, and to stand up for them, but he has a wife and kids now (*ex* priest) and how must they feel about dad being in prison? actually, maybe they're equally as principled and love him all the more for it. really, i just have to admit i don't get it.) as i was saying, as much as i think this guy is a kook, i did learn some things about protesters and prison, and i do love to Learn Things, so i guess i am thankful that this guy is a kook.

thing one: some of his protestor friends (two nuns who are nuclear protestors, and poured their blood on a missle silo or something, and also cut the fence surrounding the property and smashed some sort of cover) are getting sentenced for sabotage next week. my dad's friend, bill something, is planning on not showing up for his prison work shift (in the kitchen) on that day, as a sign of solidarity with them. for this, he expects to get put in solitary for a month. if he does not get put in solitary for that, he almost certainly will when he again refuses to work on the upcoming annivesaries of the bombing of hiroshima and nagasaki.

thing two: while my dad was there, prisoner bill told him to look around the visiting room and say what he noticed. dad noticed that nearly all the prisoners being visited and their visitors were white. prisoner bill said yeah, but he estimated that the prison population was 80% black or hispanic.

thing three: prisoner bill, when he first arrived at this prison, was called into see the warden. the warden had his (thick) file (bill's been sent to prison for protesting before), and mentioned prisoner bill's "aliases," like he didn't want no trouble, son, ya hear? so prisoner bill's name is, say, bill smith. these aliases? "father bill" and "father smith". recall, for those of you with short-term memory loss, that prisoner bill used to be a priest. yeah, mister warden, sir, that "father bill" alias is really intimidating, and quite a good disguise as well.

okay. so this wasn't really meant to be an entry about prison. but Good Thing the First about my dad is that he drives 4.5 hours up to see a friend (and not a close friend, mind you, just some ex priest he met on a quaker retreat) in prison.

Good Thing the Second is about dad and karl. so, being the type of father that never really wanted his children to grow up, my dad is always a bit tentative with new boyfriends. last year, on my birthday, i invited karl to dinner without first checking with my parents. when dad found out, he was peeved (still perfectly nice to karl at dinner though). at some point in the last year, dad told me that he was sorry about that and that he hoped that he would get to know karl and like him, and that he had felt the same way about john, when *he* was new, and had grown to like him. so in the last few months, beginning really, when dad was up here for lunch, then spent a few minutes at my house afterwards, and ran into karl on the sidewalk as he was leaving and karl was getting home, dad has been trying to get to know karl, and expressing interest in seeing him as well as me. now, i know that this is, or should be, No Big Deal, but as i read over and over again from carolyn hax (a guilty pleasure of mine, i read basically all of her columns, and generally agree with her advice) people's families often just don't want to accept any significant other into the family, especially if they don't immediately hit it off. so anyway, i really appreciate my dad making the effort.