signs that i am a horrible person and would be going straight to hell, if i believed in it:

i looked out the bedroom window this morning as i was pulling on my long underwear, and saw a young woman (college student, presumably) shoveling out her volvo. she was one of those people who hadn't moved, cleaned off, or shoveled out her car since it snowed 12" over a week ago. so as she struggled with the icey snow i mentally called her a dumbass. [tip #1 for living in a place that snows: even if you don't plan on driving for a while, come out and clean off your car and shovel it out the day after it snows, while the snow is still soft and has not yet melted and re-frozen into monolithic blocks of ice]

periodically, she would put down the shovel, get in the car, and try to drive out. to see where she was going, she had to lean out the rolled-down driver's side window since she hadn't yet bothered to clean off her windshield--actually, that's not quite true. she had shoveled some of the snow off, from the driver's side of the windshield only. but she hadn't gotten down to the glass, so she still couldn't see out of it. [tip #2: first thing to do when you come outside to shovel out your car, if you're going to be driving it right away, is to turn it on and crank up the heat so that the car warms up while you're scraping and shoveling and starts to melt the windshield.]

so she's shoveling and she's driving, and she's getting nowhere. i, looking out my second floor window, know exactly why: she's shoveling out in front of her front tires, but her car has rear-wheel drive. not once have i seen her shovel from in front of the rear tires, which are frantically spinning each time she tries to drive. i have a choice to make. should i open the window and call down to her? suggesting that she shovel out her back tires?

ah, but to do so would require opening the window, and it's cold outside. also, and here's where i'm really a terrible person, the more she shovels, the cleaner that part of the street is, so i'm tempted to just let her shovel. and shovel, and shovel, and shovel. each of her shoveling attempts is pretty half-assed, leaving huge mounds of snow still on the street. but with each attempt, she removes a little more of it, which is eventually going to result in her having cleared out a parking spot that is urgently needed on our street. and hell, i figure it's her turn. i've cleared out 2 or 3 all on my own. [tip #3: know whether your car is front- or rear-wheel drive, and concentrate your shoveling in the appropriate area]

when i came back from telling karl this story, she was getting help. some security guy had shoveled out her back tires and put pieces of cardboard underneath them. the woman's friend was also out, and helped the guy push. it still took them another five minutes of spinning and pushing, but finally she got her car out. and her spot was immediately taken by someone else.