i've been writing a lot of the following emails recently:

dear [person who i haven't talked to in up to 10 years],

i'm slowly coming to face the desolation of L.A.G. (life after gradschool) and am realizing that academia, she is not for me. don't get me wrong, i love the romantic candlelit dinners of flexible schedules, intelligent coworkers, and getting to use my brain, but they do not overcome the stanky morning breath and dirty socks of never-ending grant writing, publish-or-perish, and being underpaid for my level of education.

one possible alternative is the foreign service, a career that i have considered now and again ever since i was little and my dad was a foreign service officer. becoming a FSO is a long process. step one was to take and pass the foreign service written exam (check). step two is to endure a day-long oral assessment. if i pass that (big if, since only around 25% do), they'll start a security clearance check on me.

in preparation for this, i've been filling out numerous lengthy forms that make me account for my whereabouts and whyfors for the past ten years. every dorm i lived in, every crappy summer job i had, every visit i've taken out of the country, even that 2-day one to ottawa last summer so that karl could get his visa renewed. anyway, for each of these entries in "this is your life," i have to put down a reference of someone who knew me then and there. m, you win the prize for just making the cut, since it's been nearly ten years (eek) since we were roommates in Peters.

you are getting this letter because i've tentatively put you down as a reference. before i make it official, i wanted to check if it is ok with you since if i pass you are certain to get a call/visit from an Official Government Representative� asking about me.

top secretly yours,
borogoves