body image and exercise

right. so i mentioned in the last entry (written a mere moments ago) that one of my current woes is my weight. i'm back up to about 160. urg. i had gotten down to a low of 140. jeezus! 20 pounds added back on in the past 8 months! no wonder i'm feeling fat.

last thanksgiving i was thin, and at the annual thanksgiving dinner with the bridge ladies and their families (my mom plays bridge with 3 women she met in geneva who's husbands all work for the state department--they've kept it up all these years, and are thus known as the bridge ladies), my fabulous new appearance was commented on. it felt great! and thanksgiving is coming up again, and i'm 20 pounds heavier. so, i've been trying to stick to my diet, though i'm horrible at it (i think i may actually have some sort of physical thing that makes it really hard to resist food, and makes me have to eat more than other people to feel full), and exercise. i've been to the gym almost everyday this week, or gone running, and plan to keep this up all semester.

we all publically deride the very thin (calista flockhart, for example) and say they look horrible. and i do think that calista doesn't look as good as say, some of the olympic swimmers, who have a lot of muscle and aren't skinny. but, that said, i'd so much rather be calista than me. and by that i just mean have her body. no boobs and all. i wish i were thin. and didn't have to worry about it. just genetically thin.