swollen parcel of dropsies

how much of a waste of my time would it be to commit these shakespearean insults to memory? because, think about it--how fun would it be to be able to call your [advisor/boss/ex/current president] a "dankish beef-witted boar-pig"? a big ol' manure pile o' fun, i tell you what.

i just read eloi's most recent entry and lemme tell you: i had the same friggin reaction to those propagandistic anti-drug/terrorism commercials (that first aired during the super bowl, right?) WHAT a LOAD of MISBEGOTTEN FLY-BITTEN COXCOMB, was my reaction. but eloi expresses it better. so go read that entry.

so i'm mostly recovered from The Cold. that was the worst cold i've ever had. the longest i've ever been out sick from anything since i had the chicken pox in 3rd grade. on a side note, i think today's kids, who are all innoculated against chicken pox, kinda miss out. okay, on the one hand, they don't miss out on the HORRIBLE NEVER-ENDING itching, but they do miss out on the missing school bit, and the sitting in oatmeal baths, and the ITCHING. okay, so maybe they don't really miss out at all.

on another side note, let me tell you about when my mom first thought i had chicken pox. i had developed a bunch of small, red, itchy bumps. i was about 8 years old. mom, being a nurse (and a mother, and a human, and not an idiot) thinks, "a HA! it's chicken pox!" and rushes me to the doctor. the doctor examines me and makes my mom feel like an imbecile and (worse) a bad mother by telling her that no, i don't have chicken pox but rather, fleas. FLEAS! my mother is understandably horrified. turns out, i had gotten them at a sleepover where the host's big fuzzy english sheepdog had napped on my strawberry shortcake sleeping bag.

anyway, the next year, when i actually DID get chicken pox, mom didn't rush me off to the doctor for fear of being told that i had fleas AGAIN. of course, this time i HAD the chicken pox. luckily, since the treatment involves nothing more than lots of calamine and aveeno baths, the lost treatment time did no permanent damage.

so where was i? i was going to tell you something about being almost over The Cold, but now i can't remember what that is. what with all the side notes and all. oh right. i remember.

so last night, karl and i were sitting on the couch watching 'the west wing.' i had been coughing (very sexy) so he put his hand on my chest under my robe. even in my oogy-sick state, i found that a bit enticing, i guess, so i put my hand in his pants. one thing led to another. i didn't think i was going to feel up to actual sex, actually, and anticipated asking him to jerk off for me. but things went on, and i got more interested, and we ended up having some really good sex right there on the living room couch. now, it's not *that* infrequent that we have sex somewhere other than the bed, but it is less-than-half the time. fun all around, in any case. though every time i coughed i couldn't help but think of that 'friends' episode where monica is sick and tries to convince chandler to have sex with her to prove that she isn't sick and the whole thing ends in a vapo-rub-o-rama. Not Sexy. i suppose i can at least console myself by knowing that my escapades from last evening weren't on national television.