goddamn spearfuckingtoss game

i am so getting my ass kicked. i cannot rest until i am on the high score list. my life is going to be in ruins i tell you what. someone will find me, 3 weeks from now, greasy from not bathing, weak from hunger, and surrounded in my own excrement. they'll have an intervention, show me how far i've fallen. i'll come out of my spearhaze, look around with bloodshot eyes, and realize i need help. with some pulling of strings, i'll get a bed in an inpatient treatment program using the most modern rapid detox technology. after a few weeks, they'll let me out, feeling better than i have in months, with the cartoon lava out of my system (the cartoon lava is definitely my favorite part!). i'll return to work, shaky but hopeful. for a few days, it'll be good, i'll be strong. but one day, when everyone's out of the lab, the pull of the lava will be too strong and i'll play "just one game."