karl and i, as you already know, are moving in together. the move is taking place in several steps. i had to be out of my place on 8/31. but the new place is being renovated. but the landlord said i could pile my stuff in one room, and the contractors would work around it. so on saturday, i got all my good buddies (i.e. those people who i had helped move) and we loaded up the truck. the landlord's pain-in-my-ass assistant (PIMAA) told karl we couldn't have the keys til noon. fabulous, except the truck was loaded at 9.30 am. at noon, we called. no one there. paged. no answer. paged again. finally PIMAA calls back, and says he's about to leave the office, and we could come by at 2. um, hello? what happened to noon, mister? he can't be bothered. even though my u-haul has to be back at 3. grrr. so we take the truck to the new place and unload everything onto the porch. at 2, karl and i head over to the landlord's leaving a couple of our peeps guarding the stuff, with stern instructions that they are not to have a yard sale.

at the landlord's, PIMAA says he doesn't have the keys. let me just repeat that, for emphasis. the LANDLORD doesn't have the KEYS to one of his properties. (i was under the apparently mistaken assumption that one of the basic duties of being a landlord was to have keys. but what do i know?) the contractor has the only set of keys. we offer solutions: we can go to the contractor and pick up the keys (but the contractor is very far away). we can hire a locksmith to let us in, and take the money off our first month's rent (but that would be breaking and entering). we argue. i get all hysterical crazy on his ass. karl remains calm (we are playing good tenant-bad tenant). PIMAA wants us to "see things from [his] point of view" and "try to bear with [him]". we explain that we do indeed see things from his point of view, but we are rather sure that his point of view should include keys. PIMAA asks us, condescendingly, when our lease starts. september 15. PIMAA asks us, condescendingly, what the date is. august 31. PIMAA points out that our lease hasn't started yet (yes, thank you very much. we knew that). we note that PIMAA's boss, very nice and accomodating property manager man (VNAAPMM) has said that we can store stuff there til the apartment is ready. PIMAA says that they are doing us a Very Big Favor. we note that it's less a favor, and more a Very Big Nuisance, and that my very nice friends are at that very moment sitting on a porch in west philly guarding my belongings. PIMAA says the contractors will be over in 1.5 hours to let us in. PIMAA will not be argued with anymore. we leave.

2 hours later, the contractor actually does show up, and even gives us an extra set of keys. we move my stuff in, with the help of the one friend who has been able to stay around that late. we collapse into beers, and call it a night.

stay tuned for parts 2 (where we move karl's stuff to his brother's house for temporary storage) and 3 (where we move karl's stuff into the new apt, and theoretically take possession of it). i'm sure there's more fun to come.

st. thomas

03 September 2002 - 6:21 pm

been in st. thomas, usvi, for the last few days. my mom took my sister and i there just cuz, and now i'm tan. mmmmmmmmm, taaaaaaaannnnnnnn. anyway, i'll spare you the details of how lovely and perfect it was there and just mention that (a) someone fell off a cruise ship (too much rum), forcing said cruise ship to make little circles til the rescue boats could haul the dumbass out of the water (i mean really. isn't it pretty much the first thing when you're on a boat? don't fall off? for crying out loud.) also, (b) we saw an ocean liner one day, in addition to the regular gaggle of cruise ships. it was too big to sail into the harbor so was anchored out a ways. apparently, regular cruise ships, which sail sedately around the caribbean, are U-shaped on the bottom, and draw about 20 ft. the ocean liner (think titanic, only floating) draws 50 ft or so. our whole hotel apparently could've fit on the bow. the BOW. and (c) the attacking iguana. they seem to be quite sedate normally, but when antagonized by 5-year-old boys, seem to bite and make chase. 'course, i probably would too, if antagonized by a 5-year-old boy who was not my personal offspring. the mother of said boy, once she got done screaming, commented on how agressive the iguanas were. um, lady? the iguanas are agressive? i think not. the boy then started untying a rope that had been neatly wrapped and tied by a boat driver person that was RIGHT ON THE EDGE of the dock. we left before the kid fell in, but i'm sure it was amusing. and that the ocean was very agressive.

oh! there was one other thing! sis and i went scuba diving! we'd been snorkling before, but not proper diving, and whooo boy, was that ever fun. if i ever move to a tropical island, the first thing i'm gonna do (after buying sunblock), is get certified.